Gauri Khan's Big Interview ..One of my fave

My biggest gift to Shah Rukh is Space

In an exclusive interview Gauri Khan gets into a tell all mode about her life.

 Afsana Ahmed

Perceptions delineates Gauri as the wife of the countrty’s supertar Shah Rukh Khan, and as seen, her credentials, do not extend beyond being the Queen of Mannat ( their sea facing home in Bandra’s bandstand)  or perhaps being the toast of the lavish parties circuit. Over the years her prima donna bearings have unheedingly added to the opinons around. Her brief roles -- a TV host, an amateur painter, part-time costume and interior designer or a business partner with friend Sussane--were never taken seriously. Gauri predominantly remained the quintessential glamorous wife of a superstar. And what more, she enjoys every bit of that life.

But beyond the power the glamour and richness lies a strong woman of substance. While Shah Rukh Khan is conquering newer career heights , Gauri has been meeting and beating other challenges, that would have otherwise posed hindrance to her hubby’s phenomenal growth and success. It is Gauri’s Zen like composure which reassures him everyday. She has made their beautiful home (Mannat) ,raised his kids, looked after him and his family nd gave him security and peace of mind. Naturally so, he derives his core from her. She is the bigger hero. He is, because, she is.

Remarkably  so she has been shaping her man’s dreams untill she one days she sensed her symmetry being disturbed. Kids (Aryan and Suhana) were fast growing up and stepping into their next phase while her man was working as always. Gauri `felt suffocated’.  Here, I would like to mention a quote of John Maxwell that, I feel metaphorically expresses the upshots of a static life. And Gauri’s Khan’s life at that point seemed somewhat like that. It reads, `You’ll never change your life untill you change something you do daily.  The secret of your success is found in your daily routine’.

Possibly Gauri found her calling after undergoing this phase.

Media shy and soft spoken,she is a perfect picture of elegance. We met at her store InCell in town. Clad in a tight denim and begie shirt and sans makeup, she was a appeared to be an  involved entrepreneur. After a brief inspection of her store we drove down to Mannat for a chat.

Be it her passion for her new work(owner of decorative stuff)  her deep interest as a homemaker or her definite standings in some matters, Gauri is unmistakably has mereged on her own today.

What took you so long to step out on your own?

I was like, ok, I’m done partying, I have looked after my kids, I have done my home( in Mumbai, Dubai and London). Now what should I do! I startred feeling suffocated.

But I also understood that nothing comes before or after it is due. But must admit that I was always scared to venture out on my own because of I have an issue of getting bored of things. My attention span is very short. I like to start and give up half way.

Let me share a story here. Years ago, Shah Rukh and I bided for a store which is now Fab India in Pali Hill. I wanted to open a store which will have an eclectic mix of stuff, like right clothes and furniture etc. But the bid never came through and I lost interest. Then I did Shah Rukh’s clothes for Daar and few more movies with him, but soon I lost interest. I was with Sussaane who was very encouraging of me, but I didn’t have the guts to start something and shut shop. I didn’t want a reputation like that.

You had confident issues when it came to working?

Not at all. I am a very confident person. It’s just that I get disinterested in things. But I think as you grow older you learn. Now I’m sure of my intents. You know I have no regrets. I think everything comes in time and goes in time. So you are never late for anything in life.

Would you say you were never a career women as such?

Not necessarily everyone has to be a career woman.You can also sit back and enjoy till you wish to.

Not many people know you, the real Gauri Khan. How will you describe yiourself?

 I’m comfortable in my skin and in my surroundings. I don’t think I get overshadowed by my husband or his personality. I have a stronger personality than Shah Rukh.

He is an entity on his own and I don’t consider him a superstar when I’m with him in the house. He’s just my husband and I respect him as that. So I’m quite comfortable in my space.

Who do you think is the most important person in your life?

My family obviously. My parents, my brother, sister in law , my husband and my kids. I can’t say that one peraon is less important than the other. I give them all equal importance in life.

How old is AbRam now?

(Shows his picture). Ten months. He’s so cute. Look at the dimples. He looks a lot like Shah Rukh and Aryan. I bring him over to the store as it’s very convenient for me.

Beautiful. Looks naughty. He’s gone on this dad know?

Listen I’m no less. He’s gone on both of us. He’s the centre of everyone’s attention now. Shah Rukh wakes up with him in the morning. Has to see AbRam the first thing in the morning. Luckily he has little more time than before, so he’s enjoying it I would say.

The new chapter in your life looks very promising.So has the old ones took a back seat

 I don’t look back on anything in my life. I’m always looking forward. If I had any small issues within myself I sorted it all out. Now you need to look ahead, grow in life, think of the future, the kids and your family. I don’t elook back.

 How difficult and easy it has been to be the wife of Shah Rukh Khan?

I have had an exciting, fulfilling and a complete life. I don’t think I could have married someone in Delhi and lived there. It would have been very dull and boring life. You see, every marriage goes through its ups and down but that’s part of the growth. I think I have got all the comfort, I have got beautiful kids, can do whatever I want, travel around the world. I know its sounding very materialistic but it’s been a comfortable life. And today I’m also doing something that I enjoy. I have become a pucca Bombay girl.

How much has the ups and downs of your life  brought you and Shah Rukh closer?

We’ve always been a very closed knit family so there’s no question of being closer. We’re in a space where we can only thank God for whaever he has given or not given us. We feel blessed for getting to live a priviledged and a healthy life than compared to so many people who don’t have it. Touch wood! People go through so much in life--financially, physically, mentally and emotionally. So I don’t look at the ups an downs as anything but a negligible area.

 Does gossip about you or your husband affect you?

Everyone is gossiping about the other on your back. The ones who are writing have also at some point been victims of gossips.  You go to a party, you’ll written about. You hang out with certain people you’ll be written about.  Point is I never bothered about what other’s think of me or my family. It seriously doesn’t matter. Because I know what I’m doing in my life.

How much does Shah Rukh’s controversies affect you?

Since the last three years I have been so busy with my own things that I have no time to sit and think anything else. Had I been sitting at home and doing nothing I have a feeling I would have gone mad. When your mind is active and you are busy nothing it doesn’t bother you. In few days I would be travelling again for work.  

 How is Shah Rukh reacting to this new, busy and independent  Gauri?

He knows that I am doing this. He has been to the store.  He’s happy that I am doing something constructive and that I’m out and travelling for work  which I do once a month and I’m back to my family.Usually I’m back home by 6pm.  And when comes back home he always finds me here.

Do you have any secret recepie to run a successful marriage? BOX

I’m in no place to share tips because every marriage has their personal challhenges . One has to face them to beat them.    

But yes, it’s important to keep yourself occupied all the time.  Don’t sit at home ideally. If both of you’re busy it makes life much easier and you don’t get into each other’s space. In essence your life shouldn’t be depended on his schedules. Else you’ll be stuck.

How much is he depended on you?

I think emotionally he is.

And what about you?

(laughs) I don’t so. I am not dependent on anyone. I am very independent.

Emotionally also?

Yes, totally.

Do you watch movies?

 I am quite a Hindi movie buff. . One’s a month, whichever movie is releasing, we have a screening at home.

Do you cook? Have you cooked for your husband?

 I know how to cook but I don’t have an inclination. I think the kitchen area is well taken care of by experts.  They don’t need me to mess up thing there.  I think years ago I must have made him an omellete and tea.

Who has Suhana and Aryan taken on?

Both are very ambitious, talented, bright and sorted. They are as ambitious as their father. Aryan is very ambitious. Everything he does in school, he wants to top. Suhana  on the other hand is little shy but she also does well in school.

Will you do more ads?

Yes, if I get good work which compliments my sense and sensibility.

With you looks and figure you can easily be passed off as a movie actress. Are you open to movies?

No, it’s not everybody’s cup of tea. I don’t have the talent, patience and interest. I just told you that I hate going through the grueling process of dolling up myself and in movies you require that.

But do you talk to him about it when he comes back?

He hasn’t given me a reason to fight or question him. He is very passionate about his kids and me. He’s constantly calling or me and if I don’t pick up, he fires me. He pampers and spoils me with gifts. What can I say to him? What should I do to a person. He makes everything special for me. On Valentines Day he lit up the terrace, organized a candle light dinner for us.

 Isn’t it sweet?

Of course it is. He does things on his own. There are certain things in life you have to do to be a family unit, the day that doesn’t happen, then there will be conflicts. I have certain dos and don’t for him and he follows them religiously, which is very sweet I think. We’re in sync with each other. He is gives me security. This is how I want my life to be. And he openly says his family is his life. The day he stops all this b is the day I’ll have an issue. And conflict will happen if we are not together as a family.

Was he always like this?

Yes but now even more because of AbRam. He thanks me for giving him AbRam.

So who’s the boss here?

I am the boss. You know what I mean. He’s pampering me and the the kids. So what else do I want?

What have you gifted him?

 I have never gifted him anything. I just find it a pain and boring and I am a different person. So I am saying he’s making an effort and I apprecute it. The thought of buying a gift and wrapping is too much of an effort for me.

So how do you express your love?

I have made a beautiful home for him and constantly work on it so that it remains as such. I have raised his kids been a good wife. That’s my part. I don’t need to give him gifts.  I give him space, that’s my gift to him.

 PG 2

Who for you is the woman of substance?

I appreciate all women achiveres who have done or are doing great jobs in their field. So there could be Mother Teresa who’s touched everyone’s lives in some way or the other. Or Margaret Thatcher, Marlyn Monroe or Madonna. They are all women of substance from different fields. But personally I have no role models who I emulate or wish to be like.

You chose to step out in jeans and a simple kurta for your store opening instead of wearing your usual diva-esque demeneour?

Now I only want to wear comfortable clothes, like jeans,t-shirts, pajamas and chapels. Heels torture me. I don’t like to wear makeup. That’s why you’ll not see me in events nowadays. Because going out involves doing your hair ,make up , clothes etc etec. It takes too much effort and I can’t do it. I’m in a space where I choose my occasion and accordingly dress up.

Heard that you have handpicked everything in your store The Cell Design?

Yes I have. It feels nice to provide such a platform to young and upcoming designer. I have a lot of culture down in my store. It essentially showcases a lot of collectibles. I’m very fond of good artists and I look at their work so that I can give them a place here. I’m searching good galleries. I would love if any young, upcoming designers want to display their products here, if they can’t afford to open their own store, they can do it here.